How could you....

I am so sad and unhappy now...last time your not like this.
you always always give me some of your time.
always wait for me...but now,you always say your tired...

I feel cold, your not the same anymore...you have change...
change in to some kind of jerk that i never know...
let me know whos that last time??? are you just acting??
is that the real you???

i just want you for a few second, but you always say your tired...
do you know it hurts alot? when you say that? im not worth it to take some of your time? is it???
is it so hard to acconpany me for a few min's???
what dose a boyfriend do, what good is a boyfriend when his not making you warm and fuzzy of even happy?
your making me feel very lonely....
thats it...im speechless now.....

speechless......

Crying Like a Child~

Today i almost cry when i have to leave my home at Kulai and go back to my home at KL.
Then, i kind of feel embarrassed to cry with them all watching... lol
I might really cry like a child if i really let it all out.

What's with me lately?
The old me is not like this.
the old me won't even care.
Have i grown up?
Or have i become more like a child?

I really don't feel like leaving my mama and papa alone there...but i have to.
If i really stay, somebody at KL will die...maybe i will also die...lol
But i really can feel that mama and papa feel very lonely there.
Only got one Lucky(my dog) with them.
Play mahjong also short one person...
So many rooms...so empty...
sight...

Then, when we leave for like 10 minutes or so, I text my mama... i write.
"Bye bye mama papa! I love you!"
Donno why i can't say it out loud...lol
Maybe some day i will...im sure~~~

What's this?!

I really don't know what i did to make you always like this.
Am i that bad to you?
always thought a realationship between a boy and a girl is sweet.
Guess im f'in wrong bout'it!
Always see other girls and their boyfriend so happy and the boy is always making the girl happy.
Guess i don't deserved that. i might as well write a note to myself to not dream about it again.

Always say i don't give enough to you, what have you give me?
Heart break? sadness?
That, i don't need.
I can tell you im a really very easy to be happy person.
little things can make me very happy.
but you always want to put me in a difficult position like this, i ask you...
How the hell can i be happy?!
Do you care how i feel? do you?!