Down in the dumps...

I don't know how to describe my feelings.
I feel.. envy,sadness,sorrow,pain,loneliness...
I know I should not feel like this now.
I have things that are better than most of the people in this world.

What is wrong with me.

Feeling useless.
Can't do anything right.
Feeling helpless.
Can't help anybody that is in pain.
Feeling hopeless of myself.

Maybe this feeling will go away.

I want to go to the beach and sit on the sand quietly...listening to the splashing sound of the waves.

I don't want to think anymore!

Go to sleep and hope tomorrow Is a better day.
Also hope I won't feel like this anymore...

Fall in Love with a Guitar~

Today I when shopping with my boo~
and I found a guitar that I really really REALLY liked!!!!
Is from Takamine. So is kind of expansive! >_
But I really really like it!!! Is like, love at first sight~

Is Rm889~ is really expansive to me right now cuz I'm low on cash~
Jobless...:(
Damn it!

Need to get it soon!!!
Or else...

My Family~

I love my family.
But lately I'm very sad because of them.

I feel very stress.
Feels like I can't take it anymore.
I can't sleep at night at my own house cuz I feel pressure living with people who thinks I'm not good enough.

My own sisters and brother...

I'm really sadden by this.

I know I'm not as smart as you guys or get many A's in school like you guys did.
But really...why do you have to say such mean things to me.
It hurts my feelings you know?

I won't ever in my life say such mean things to my friends...let alone my own family...

You have the rights to say what you want to say in this world.
But it doesn't mean you have to say mean things to hurt people.
Everybody have feelings you know?

Dear brother and sisters.
I'm sorry...
I didn't grow up to be a good little sister that you guys wanted me to be.
And I think I never will...
Cuz in all your minds, I'm always a good for nothing stupid girl...
But I will always love you and be there for you guys no matter what...because you are my family.

But this time...
I really did get hurt... deeply...

Rilakkuma wash!

In the washing machine~~~
twist~twist~turn~turn~
DING!!!
All done~

Speechless...

I just don't know what to say...
You are the one that wanted to go home.
But than you said it like I'm the one that wanted to go...
Making me looked like a bad person or a selfish girlfriend.
And making yourself looked like the innocent one...
WTF?

I didn't even know what to do...
I don't know if we can carry on like this...
You make my heart feel sour...
I thought we're together in everything...
You stand by me and I'm here for you...
But I'm the only one there for you and you just watch me drown in deep water or pushing me in deeper...
I feel sour when I think about it...

And what's worst is,
You didn't even do anything to make it up to me...
I'm just like a fool...checking my phone every few minutes...
Is 3pm... Not even one call or text msg...
I don't know how or what to do anymore...

Your better off not having a girlfriend...
Cuz you don't know how to treat them right...

A girlfriend is not a pet or a toy that you can abandon...
She needs you...need you in every steps she takes...
She is a human being and have feelings.
She is a girl that is very fragile and sensitive.
She needs you to take good care or her and stand by her side even when she's wrong..

Can you do that???

I'm stupid to fall in love with you...
What a dumb ass I am...

Hospital~~~

I Hate this the most!!! is placed on my right hand and i'm right
handed...so i have to use my laft hand to do everything...
It was hard....so hard....



Time for the operation~ scared and nervous...
Asking the doctor is my voice gonna change 100 times!!!



My Tonsal.....
So Disgusting....is full of pus in it...yuck!




After the operation.. no voice at all...painful~



~THE END~

Hospital Life~~~

~Blended Porridge and Cold Chocolate Drinks~ sometimes i'll get Ice Cream~
The first breakfast that i have eaten in Johor Specialist Hospital.
Been eating this for every meal for the past 5 days in the Hospital...