How could you....

I am so sad and unhappy now...last time your not like this.
you always always give me some of your time.
always wait for me...but now,you always say your tired...

I feel cold, your not the same anymore...you have change...
change in to some kind of jerk that i never know...
let me know whos that last time??? are you just acting??
is that the real you???

i just want you for a few second, but you always say your tired...
do you know it hurts alot? when you say that? im not worth it to take some of your time? is it???
is it so hard to acconpany me for a few min's???
what dose a boyfriend do, what good is a boyfriend when his not making you warm and fuzzy of even happy?
your making me feel very lonely....
thats it...im speechless now.....

speechless......

Crying Like a Child~

Today i almost cry when i have to leave my home at Kulai and go back to my home at KL.
Then, i kind of feel embarrassed to cry with them all watching... lol
I might really cry like a child if i really let it all out.

What's with me lately?
The old me is not like this.
the old me won't even care.
Have i grown up?
Or have i become more like a child?

I really don't feel like leaving my mama and papa alone there...but i have to.
If i really stay, somebody at KL will die...maybe i will also die...lol
But i really can feel that mama and papa feel very lonely there.
Only got one Lucky(my dog) with them.
Play mahjong also short one person...
So many rooms...so empty...
sight...

Then, when we leave for like 10 minutes or so, I text my mama... i write.
"Bye bye mama papa! I love you!"
Donno why i can't say it out loud...lol
Maybe some day i will...im sure~~~

What's this?!

I really don't know what i did to make you always like this.
Am i that bad to you?
always thought a realationship between a boy and a girl is sweet.
Guess im f'in wrong bout'it!
Always see other girls and their boyfriend so happy and the boy is always making the girl happy.
Guess i don't deserved that. i might as well write a note to myself to not dream about it again.

Always say i don't give enough to you, what have you give me?
Heart break? sadness?
That, i don't need.
I can tell you im a really very easy to be happy person.
little things can make me very happy.
but you always want to put me in a difficult position like this, i ask you...
How the hell can i be happy?!
Do you care how i feel? do you?!

welcome back bad habits~~~NOT

When i was back at my hometown, i use to help my mom and dad at the night bazaar.
And we always get home late.
So we always use the night time to do our own things like watch tv(mom and dad) or play the computer(me). Well, i can play until very late. correction! is early like 6am.

Now is back...the BAD HABITS~~~

Is like i look at the clock and saw that is 2am than i will tell myself to go to bed.
Than i don't know how i can make something up to do again than is 3am than i do the same thing again... 4am than...same thing happen....=_=lll
Is not that i cant sleep, is just that i want to do something which i don't know what.
is stupid... i know.
And this stupid things i think of.
For instance, i think i'll get smarter when i didn't sleep...lolx!!!
Is stupid but that's just me~~~:3

Oh! Look at the time! is 3.12am already, i should go to bed.....ya rite!

Maybe i should try and sleep early tomorrow.
I, Elva promise myself to sleep early tomorrow!!! uuhahaha~~~>_<

Missing home~~~

Really, i didn't even thought i will miss home.
I guess is just humans nature to miss things. To think of it, i was out for a while now.
8 months, if i didn't remember wrong. Awww~~~I MISS MOMMY AND DADDY!!!
Well, this wouldn't happen if i didn't when back to my hometown last week.I was so care free back there.Is like i don't have to worry about a thing. And mom was so nice to me when i was back home. It kind of make me sad when i saw them working so hard at the night bazaar.And i was thinking if i were there, than they won't have to work so hard but then im not going anywhere there. AHHH!!!Wish i have lots lots of money than they won't have to work anymore!!!
I really really wish one day i can come to their financial aid. Lets just pray for it for now~~~:)
I'LL WORK HARD FOR IT!!!

Old vid's~~~

OMG!!!!!
I LOOK SO DAMN UGLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
My skin is so dark and my hair is cut like a coconut and erh!! look what im wearing! is that even weareble!!! And look at those teeth!!!! i swear is bigger than anything!!!!
Ok, heres what happen.
me and my mom and dad are looking through old videos than we found an super old vid that was taken when 2000 chinese new year. Well, most of the vid's is taken by me which is not good and so i'm not in much of the vid's.And than finaly i saw my self coz my sis were the one that took it. Than i saw my self, than i was like, WHAT THE......!!!! Oh!!! God!!!
ah~well~is the pass....Glad i grow out of that~~~fuu~~~LOL!!!
i don't have a picture and i don't know how to upload in to the com~~~-_-III