Speechless...

I just don't know what to say...
You are the one that wanted to go home.
But than you said it like I'm the one that wanted to go...
Making me looked like a bad person or a selfish girlfriend.
And making yourself looked like the innocent one...
WTF?

I didn't even know what to do...
I don't know if we can carry on like this...
You make my heart feel sour...
I thought we're together in everything...
You stand by me and I'm here for you...
But I'm the only one there for you and you just watch me drown in deep water or pushing me in deeper...
I feel sour when I think about it...

And what's worst is,
You didn't even do anything to make it up to me...
I'm just like a fool...checking my phone every few minutes...
Is 3pm... Not even one call or text msg...
I don't know how or what to do anymore...

Your better off not having a girlfriend...
Cuz you don't know how to treat them right...

A girlfriend is not a pet or a toy that you can abandon...
She needs you...need you in every steps she takes...
She is a human being and have feelings.
She is a girl that is very fragile and sensitive.
She needs you to take good care or her and stand by her side even when she's wrong..

Can you do that???

I'm stupid to fall in love with you...
What a dumb ass I am...

Hospital~~~

I Hate this the most!!! is placed on my right hand and i'm right
handed...so i have to use my laft hand to do everything...
It was hard....so hard....



Time for the operation~ scared and nervous...
Asking the doctor is my voice gonna change 100 times!!!



My Tonsal.....
So Disgusting....is full of pus in it...yuck!




After the operation.. no voice at all...painful~



~THE END~

Hospital Life~~~

~Blended Porridge and Cold Chocolate Drinks~ sometimes i'll get Ice Cream~
The first breakfast that i have eaten in Johor Specialist Hospital.
Been eating this for every meal for the past 5 days in the Hospital...

Sick~ VERY sick...

Been having fever on and off for 9 days...
my hole body hurts like hell..
my head banging like somebody is hitting it with a hammer non stop..
this happen last month~
now i'm ok...almost...

At first my Mom and Dad send me to the Kulai Government Hospital
But the Doctor only give me one Grape Water
than said that i'm ok than tell me to go home...
But the next day i'm still the same
and than they waded me and they suspects me of having dengi fever
so than i stay at the hospital for one night and they give be 6 pack

The Kulai Government Hospital was horrible!
They wake you up at 5am than order you to go and take a bath!
Taking a bath at 5am in the morning for sick people is SICK!!!
What were they thinking!!!
But lucky me ~ i have my mom there.
she help me abit with bathing~ :)

so after that the Doctor came at 10am
he said my fever was actually causes by my throat which i totally forgot is hurting.
my head and my body was to painful til i forget my throat was killing me too.
The doctor say i was fine than he tell me to go home and drink more water.
i thought i was fine too.

But than...
when i go home and take a nap
my head starts to hurt even more til i cry.
it feels like it's going to explode!
at first i didn't want to go back to the hospital
but my brother force me to go.
this time they send me to the Johor Specialist Hospital

The doctor there was much better
they found out that i have "Tonsillitis"
so they decided to ward me and see how it goes.
few days have past and my condition was getting worst.
so the doctor say is better for me to take out my tonsil.

i was feeling very nervous cuz i never when in to a operation before.

so, after they remove my tonsil
i feel much better cuz of the fact that i can breath easily again.
But the next day it was bad again.
cuz of the scar in my throat even now it hurts.
i can't sleep well at night every few hour i will wake up cuz of the pain...

after two day the Doctor discharge me
and telling me to go back if my head start to hurt of any serious happen
cuz is not a normal case.
my tonsil were full of pus and it might take my life away if i leave it there.

so then now I'm home~~~
Doctor advise me to stay home for two weeks
and eat only cold and mushy food...

I've been day dreaming of Mc'D and fried chicken and lots more food that i can't eat for a very long time!!!

men! THIS SUCKS!!!!

Things I Want to Say

I wanna tell you I feel left out...

Why you never text msg me?
You don't miss me at all?
I hate this kind of feeling...

My heart hurts...
You can say I'm too sensitive or whatever.
Maybe is me.
Maybe I'm the one that take this relationship too seriously.
Maybe...maybe I love you too much..

You keep on asking me "what happen?"
I really can't tell you why out loud now.
I'm scared that my tears will burst out suddenly...

I'm sorry for being like this now...
So sorry.
I need time to heal...

"Love Drunk"

I'm slowly starting to become stupid now...

When I'm not in a relationship i looked at others that are in one and feel like their stupid or they've knock them self in the head or something.

Than i start to think, i use to be like them...stupid and naive and childish...maybe that's what they called "Love Drunk"...
I did everything wrong back than...i was blinded by love...
don't care about right or wrong...dumb...

Love is stupid~

Well, now I've fallen in love again~
But this time, at list i know when I've become stupid.
I told him just today "I feel that I'm starting to become stupid for you"..
He don't know much about love because is his first time being in a real relationship~
So he didn't say anything~
He only tell me is like a dream being with me~´◡`

This time i looked before i fall~~~ :)


I know in my resent post i said I'm not ready for love~
I'm not lying...I'm really not ready.
I told him i was really very scared of starting one...
I'm scared of getting hurt like before...
Then he told me to believe him this time.
So it happen..（・ω・）

I'm scared of falling too deep like last time...
the end was a deep cut in my heart...
Just when i start to love so deeply than suddenly...everything gone...
The pain was unimaginable...
I thought it won't go away...

But Lucky me!
I have a wonderful family and also good friends that was there for me.(●ﾟｰﾟ●).
Just when i started feel alright on my own...than he came~（*´ー｀*）

Hope this time everything won't go away like last time~


You are the only exception.

Love???

My friend tell me when he's in his first relationship with a girl he give everything.
After things didn't worked out with that one, he told me the next one he give fewer.
Even fewer to the next one...so it goes on~

I did the same thing as my friend...
I give my all to my first...
But I wonder if I will be the same as my friend to my next one.
I hope I won't be like him.
What's the point of being in a relationship if you just give half of your all??
It will only mean that your not sure and only using that person so you wont feel alone.
I don't want to be that kind of a person
This game is not easy to play...
You might get somebody hurt...
Maybe even yourself...
I know...

Love hurts whether is right or wrong.

I will look carefully before I fall for somebody now.
I don't wanna be the same old stupid Elva that I use to be back than.
Fall for a person that i don't know well..
But for now, I'm not ready for love...

Let's just wait and see... :)